Customs and Excise - A presentation by Earlson Apeworthy

[Karrot]

Curtain up, http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=nAlGRZh8naM


Right, allo everyone. Cam in, take a seat, 'ave a cuppa tea (mines wiv 2 sugars Pris luv, cheers babes) Get yerselves comfy an' all and we'll get goin'.

I would like first to introjooce myself. I am Earl, I 'andle security details at da Karrot Patch for Mr Karrot and the lovely Jess, along wiv a few private ventures of me own.

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11767

This spritly young fello on me right 'ere is me nephew Norris, say allo Norris

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11768

For the life of me, yungun'. For. The. Life. Of. Me.

Now, this 'ere get togevva is for a small presentashun wot me an Norris has put togevva to impart some vital nolij about dem folks wot we all knows stands between our good selfs and the merchandise wot we is arfter. I am of course talkin' about 'er majistees Customs and Excise, or as me and Norris call em, 'The dock filf'.

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11762

Now some of these fellows, arfter decades on the job have acchooally managed to ,not only tie their own shoo laces but, pick up a fing or 2 about
findin' 'idden stuff. These fellows can 'ave a narsty 'abbit of gettin' in the way of a smoov deal and, to be fair we would all prefer it if they dint go stickin' a cold wet one in to our packages

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11766

The problem o' course is that they see a big arsed box comin' along the conveyor an' they get all like

'Oh I am betting that there is something in that there box wot we can slap a tax on or sumfing'.

Before you know it they got them crowbars out and is leaverin' the lid orf, and this is why you cant just trust your mate, Juan Eyedpete, to put yer stuff inna box and send it orf.

Im talking o' course about

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11763

You got to get cleva. You got to get tricksy wiv it. You gots to 'ide em, but not just from pryin' eyes. Oh no! They got these too

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11760

Thass right, they got goggies wiv dirty great wet snozzes wot can sniff out a narna from four ana 'arf miles away through a five quid prozzies bed sheets.

But do not fear my good people. Cease yor frettin' i say, because I 'ave been doing my 'ome work and i 'ave a plan.

This is me meeting a Police Goggie, taking me life in me 'ands to do so, but it was for nessessary research.

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11764

Norris? Wot is that?

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11759

Can we get this sorted do you fink?

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11765

Fankyou, Yungun'.

So as i woz sayin' Them goggies got a keen nozza right? So you needs to diguise the smell o' them lavly narnas wiv somefing. Turns out i found just a' fing!

If you was to get yer mate over in narna country to box em up hidden away wiv one of them sexy love dollies like this

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11761

Not only will PC Ploddington completely fail to spot the nefarious cargo, but constable sniffy wont 'ave a clue they are in there 'eeva! You's off scott free mate.

So, when you fine gentlemen feel that you need to purchase a lovely silicone laydee from a narna producing country, spare a fort for the working class Ape and Give me or Norris a tinkle. I recon we could come to an agreement, know wot i mean? and you neva know when you may be in need of an ape who is feeling endebted to you in a small way, am i right?

Right, cheers fo' cammin' there's more tea and bickies at the back like. Me and Norris will be 'angin about for a few to deal wiv any business, but we gotta scarpa soon on account of this 'ere laptop not technically belonging to us.

Oh, an' if the boys in blue cam knockin' me names Rodney, okay?

[Wulfie]

Brilliant Karrot, brilliant especially Norris after the .........um character in the red dress :tu (wasn't you Karrot......was it :whistle:). Nicely executed and another newby for the next Meet :D
Maybe we'll need a new furry / boney Forum or thread for helpful assistants / problem pets ;)

[Nietzsche]

:b Very funny, cracking up laughing at this. Nearly blew my tea out through my nose.

[Wulfie]

Been there done that, learned the hard way and a new keyboard later, no hot drinks or alcohol to be consumed or held when opening 'suspect threads' and when opening threads from certain members, box of kleenex at the ready, opened, with top 3 ready loaded for despatch. ;)

[Karrot]

d'you know 'ow many narnas you can fit in a box o' Kleenex? 5 thats 'ow many. 5 packed inna bottom with enough snozz wipes on top that PC Nebbygit can poke about and not get surspishus.

Oh, an' glad you like that little talk. 'ope it comes in 'andy.

Earl.

[Ursa_Major]

Great stuff Karrot. I'm sure Earl and Norris have been up to plenty of monkey business in their time. :D

[Snaggles]

That was so bloody funny, thanks for cheering my day up Karrot (& Earl & Norris) :)

[revoL annaerB]

Awww, Norris looks so sweet and innocent, I hope Earl isn't leading him astray!!!

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11759

Earl, cheers for the advice, if ever I need to shift a few dodgy nanas I now know how to do it.

You are so right, that goggy has a seriously big hooter, he could suck a nana up that snozz and not even notice.
http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11760

[cosycottage]

LMFAO!

Superb work Earl, but does this work for other quasi-legal fruit import scenarios?

[Karrot]

Cosy mate, you may get away wiv it for Apples, Orinjiz and most uva citrus varieties, but you most definitely do not wanna get caught 'smuggling plums'.

Earl

[cosycottage]

... but you most definitely do not wanna get caught 'smuggling plums'.

What about budgies? :)

[Karrot]

They ain't a fruit son. Wot is you bangin' on about? ;)

Earl

[revoL annaerB]

Come on Earl, don't make us post a pic of a budgie-smuggler! That would be nasty.

[Kats012]

Great character Earl; I hope he posts often. Loved the presentation.

[Kate Kane]

Ullo Earl mate, Ron 'ere.
http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=2372&stc=1&d=1350834635
Fings got a bit too hot for da Firm up in the Smoke so for now arm keepin' me 'ed darn wiv all dese carrot crunchers out in the sticks. I like yer plan son, could be a winner. Dunno how much y'ud make every time, but dere's gotta be at least a monkey in it. I'm always lookin' for a bitta new biz, so the minute dey start makin' love dolls in Guyana, give us a shout.

[Karrot]

Fackinell Ron. Long time no see my old codger! you's lookin' well. bleedin' 'enry. First 'andlebar pops up, an' now you! We got to get some time put aside and meet up mate :drink << thats you hur hur hur.

Too much goin' on to not 'ave you involved. Some dolly bird over in RealDolls wants a speed boat so better be on me way, but wow. Good to see ya old man!

Oh, and Revol, I knew a budgie smuggler a while back. Bloody good at it 'e woz. There was not a single small feathered animal that 'e could not shift from A to B undetected. 'andsome fellow too, so don't go castin' asperjons on people wot you dont know. cheeky bugga ;). like it!

Earl

[revoL annaerB]

Earl, lurve the earring!!! Is that a pokemon card attached to it?:wtf

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=2372&stc=1&d=1350834635

[Karrot]

Jeebus Revol, lay orf the paint strippa will ya? Thats Ron! I'm Earl, an' i can prove it on account of this being me sayin allo to you, you ninny :slaphead

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=702&pictureid=11767

Earl

[revoL annaerB]

Sorry Boss, I'm a bugger for getting names mixed up. My bad.

[Karrot]

S'oright son. We'll get you some nametags, eh ? :tu

Earl

[Zang]

Oh, great -- now every time I see nice yellow bananas at the grocery store or on my kitchen counter, some low, husky voice in my head goes

"'narnas".

:rolleyes:

Arrgghh! How do I make it stop?!? :D

[Karrot]

Cant 'elp you there Zang old mate. Once the voice is in the 'ead, its in the 'ead.

Earl

[Kate Kane]

Ron 'ere boy. Naw, normally I'd be a bit sensitive to the old disrespect an' any muppet taking diabolical liberties would be sayin' farewell to his kneecaps. Yer lucky son, you caught me in a low key moment tryin' to keep me 'ed under the parapet outta sight of Percy Plod.

So, yer spotted me ear tag. I like yer boy, so I'll tell yer wha's all abaart. Pokemon? I aint never poked no mon. Wha's really says is 'Empire State Building NYC". See, one o' my ancestors got a bit famous for climbing up the outside once in a movie 'n' I wear it in 'is honour. Honour's summink we take very seriously roun' 'ere son, just ask me bruvver Reg. So watch it, ok.

[Karrot]

Feck yeah, even i wouldn't piss off Reg. 'es a right nutta.
Course, couldnt 'ave a betta Ape behind you when the preverbial collides wiv the air agitation device, if you follow me.

Earl

[revoL annaerB]

Dudes, y'all wanna take a chill pill.

By way of an apology I've made a pic which you'll both like, just hope Karrot doesn't mind me taking liberties with his Jess! I'm sure it can be deleted by a mod if he thinks I'm an arse.

http://i50.tinypic.com/2n1vx8j.gif

[Kate Kane]

Dudes, y'all wanna take a chill pill.

By way of an apology I've made a pic which you'll both like, just hope Karrot doesn't mind me taking liberties with his Jess! I'm sure it can be deleted by a mod if he thinks I'm an arse.

http://i50.tinypic.com/2n1vx8j.gif

Nice bit o' work there son. You're off the 'ook as far as I'm concerned. I'll put the muzzle back on Reg.
Be lucky
Ron

[Joe Bin]

Well done Earl, very entertaining and funny.:b
I have no problem getting narnas here, but perhaps your method could get some of that gwatkins cider into my country.:D:whistle:

[Karrot]

Im gonna field this one Revol, on account of Jess being asleep still and Earl being as subtle as a sledge hammer.

All i can say is

:happy I GOT A WINKY JESS! :happy

Awesome dude, Thankyou so much! Dont take Earl to heart, I think he's just a bit overwelmed what with all his old familly and friends popping up. Deeply suppressed and mangled emotions being stirred up etc. orite orite, no need to play the bleedin' 'art card boss. cheers for the piccy tho revol. Her ladyship will love that

Karrot
an' Earl

[cosycottage]

Oh, great -- now every time I see nice yellow bananas at the grocery store or on my kitchen counter, some low, husky voice in my head goes

"'narnas".



http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=266&pictureid=11807

[Karrot]

Bloody 'ell. Looks like Reg got to that goggie an' pulled 'is lugs orf!

Earl

[dollman2]

This is a foto i found of a great narna for you guys.

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=656&pictureid=11808:happy

[Karrot]

Bloody 'ell, now thats a narna! you'd need a bigger dollie than your Alice to shift that mate!

Ear
l

[cosycottage]

Bollocks - now I've got this song going round in my head every time I look at this thread. :whistle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8O_VM89EXA

[Karrot]

ah my life. Back from when music 'ad a choon and the words dint 'ave to be about beaches and homes and most people were not finkin' they wuz Gangsters.

marvelous

Earl

[Wulfie]

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=550&pictureid=11811
Narna time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thFJ3OtltCA&NR=1&feature=endscreen



.

[Karrot]

Blimey! its enough to make yer fur stand on end. along wiv everyfing else!


Earl

[Kate Kane]

Bleedin' 'ell gels, that aint the way to eat a narna.

Ron

[revoL annaerB]

http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs49/f/2009/189/6/8/banana_smile_by_Nuvul.jpg

http://cl.jroo.me/z3/1/Z/w/d/a.aaa-Funny-smile-on-banana.jpg

[Loverboy]

I have tried to welcome you twice, official like, but my posts keep disapearing. Maria wanted to say hello as well. She thinks your cute and cuddly my man! We did try and create a thread in Plush General forum, it seems to have posted okay, but now has dissapeared.

[dollman2]

Bloody 'ell, now thats a narna! you'd need a bigger dollie than your Alice to shift that mate!

Ear
l

Im saving for a camilla From BD

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=656&pictureid=11892

Bet she could hide a giant Narna.:D

[Kate Kane]

Ullo gennelmen

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=2397&stc=1&d=1351086530

Nah, if weer talkin' abaart some good toons dat get yer taste buds goin' as well as yer feet .....

...Ee means songs abaart narnas ..

er, yeah, fank yoo Reg .... ere's a cuppull of our faves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8nJYYDty4o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5b6UCCm7f4

Bananarama can arm my banana any time dey like, huh huh huh .....

er, fank yoo Reg. Anyone got any Nana Mouskouri?

[Karrot]

Im saving for a camilla From BD

Bet she could hide a giant Narna.:D

Looks liek she could 'andle an 'ole plantashun mate :D



....Anyone got any Nana Mouskouri?

You mean of course NARNA Mouskouri hur hur hur hur

Earl

[Wulfie]

Please, nooooooooooonarna splits :rulez

[philinotstine]

Nice one Earl. Ron n Reggie, too. Pris loves nannas, boys. (Trust her to lower the tone).
Mnnnluwwwgh... I heard gdthat. I dont vfthink theyl be cmplaining. mnnnlwwnggg...

http://www.uklovedollforums.co.uk/forum/picture.php?albumid=496&pictureid=7485

[Karrot]

Allo Pris luv. Stop being all exotic wiv that erotic fruit and put the kettle on will ya? Mines wiv 2 sugars, 'member? nice one.

Earl

[Kate Kane]

Allo Pris luv. Stop being all exotic wiv that erotic fruit and put the kettle on will ya? Mines wiv 2 sugars, 'member? nice one.

Earl


Lookin' at Pris there, I reckon she enjoys the odd game of hide the narna too. Very nice luv.

'Ere, why's that Jensguy bloke lyin' on the floor droolin' Bloody nuttah.

Ron