Lockdown survey

[Adam&Emma]

Week days nothing has really changed for me. As a lorry driver im still working every day. Still getting up at stupid o'clock and still being treated like like scum everywhere i go. But after 26 years im immune to it. Today im delivering supplies to the NHS so definitely feel like a key worker lol.. Weekends are a bit shit though. Used to meet up with friends and go out on the motorbikes to get lunch. Some good friends that i haven't seen in about 9 months. I do think i wouldnt cope so well if it wasnt for emma keeping me company and my brother for keeping me sane

[Amydoll]

Originally Posted by Bouncer

Hi, it was me who pressed the suicidal and depressed button.
Its not just the Covid lockdown . . . but its not helped. One of the straws that broke the camel so to speak.

Ok here goes. . . First child stillborn, (wife never spoke to me for nearly a year apart from yes or no.) I guess I must have done something or didn't do something. . but got the blame.
Wife cheating on me with work colleagues. (yes more than one). Suicide attempt by hanging.
Out of the blue Im diagnosed with Lymphoedema in my legs and hands. Wife Leaves. Mum dies after a very short illness, three weeks later I have a stroke. I loose my second job ( in security) because of the meds I take to thin the blood. Made redundant from first job after 15 years, the company didn't/wouldn't pay redundancy, I had to fight but got a reduced amount from our government.
The stroke left me with speech problems and constant headaches and unexpectedly . .highly emotional amongst other issues.
In the mix of this something snapped. Depression. . . its amazing how alone you become when people find out you have it.
December the Employment Support Allowance people say that after a meeting we had in Feb 2020 that I was fit to work and reduced my money to 74 a week. So going from a very healthy outgoing people person to an unemployed piece of shit hermit wreck.
Im beginning to think 54 years is enough for me.
Anyway Im under the care of my Doctor and some lovely people at Minds Matter, trying to find the snapped part.

Sorry, I just couldn't leave the who's the depressed vote unanswered. Im not looking for any sympathy . . . things could be worse I suppose.

I love this forum and the community here, I’m here most days reading everything, best part of my day.

B

Holy shit dude, sorry for everything you've going through but remember you are not alone, everyone here is your friend and alot of us have been through similar things as yourself.
Keep strong mate and follow the number 1 rule we all abide by.
#1 when things are tough, buy another doll.

[Nescio50]

I voted the answer to everything