UK Love Doll Forums  
Untitled Document

Go Back   UK Love Doll Forums > Interactive Doll Forum.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1141  
Old 30-07-2019, 11:13 AM
algaeholics's Avatar
algaeholics algaeholics is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Halifax, UK.
Posts: 2,583
Default

COOKING WITH SPAM
A FUN RECIPE

This wasn't planned, it just happened... Allie and I were happily playing a game of 'Kerplunk' when an email came through which appeared to be from a company called Shemalt.

Allie, initially thinking it was from a company advertising female wigs, sat down to consider the email.

Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Hello,
This is David X from Semalt SEO company as you added your number +449999999999 for contact i have trying to reach you on this number since last 20 days but number is not reachable can you please share your other contact or skype or whatsapp with me so i can assist you.

1-Please share your website URL with me
2-Please share your contact details with me

Looking for your reply

Best regards,
David X
Customer Success Manager
Semalt (SEO) Digital Marketing
Phone: +19999999999
Whatsapp: +3999999999
Skype: david.xxxxx
E-Mail: xxxxxxx@semalt.com
Remembering that she deliberately uses this false number to avoid nuicance calls, she pushes them on how they got the number.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

The phone number is incorrect. Where did you get this information?
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Hello Allie,
I am David X customer support manager at semalt you add this number 21 days ago when i have send you popup about the contact details from Semalt.com website

Please share your contact details with me and please tell me about your domain URL for you are looking for the SEO services
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

Hello David,

Impressive...

Now, if I could assist you in increasing your own audience, please see the following screenshot.

http://prntscr.com/o1wl3k

I have not charged you for this advice.

Kind regards

A. User... who decided long ago not to use your clearly and publicly obvious amateurish services.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Hello Allie,
FYI: we are already on top and having more than 100k clients who are using our services for the SEO and i am sorry i am unable to understand are we here for debet i am sorry not at all if you want to promote your website you can tell us.

if you index more than this then let me know

http://myprintscreen.com/s/16rt4/f49c5a8811
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

I assume you didn't bother looking at the screenshot I sent which highlights a GLARING spelling mistake on your home page, right above where your clients will enter their data.

I refer you once again to the following screenshot: http://prntscr.com/o1wl3k

Positioning on the search results is irrelevant if your website contains stupid errors which give potential clients zero confidence in using your services.

I have not charged you for this advice.

Kind regards

Allie
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Hello Allie,
I appreciate your feedback very much important for us and i must apologize for such mistake we will fix it on immediate basis.

Now can we please talk about the work if you don't mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

When your site is fixed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Hello allie,
As per your suggestion request has been forwarded to our department thanks for the feedback. please allow me to discuss about the work
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

When your site is fixed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

sure maam we will fix that 100% now we should talk about the services and you can start your campaign on that time can we talk about work now please
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

Hi David

Before we get any further into offering you our services, please check the following screenshot:

http://prntscr.com/o1xf2m

Another misspelled word on your home page. This could become expensive.

I think it's now obvious that I can act as a proof reader for your company and would be happy to discuss the work you offered us in your last communication.

I charge an hourly rate, or per 1000 words, your discretion. So far, your bill stands at $47.82 (1.5 hours).

Payment would be through PayPal upon invoice submission.

Kind regards

Allie
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Hello Allie,
Again this is much appreciated from you maam but we are not doing any grammar competition here this is all about the SEO services of website not about the web development services. we should need to be on right way for which we are here.

Note: Maam as i told you request has been sent to our department for fix these issues
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie
OK David, job done.

Please let me know the email address of your Accounts Department so we may forward our invoice.

Do let us know when the edits are complete so we may, once again, proofread the updates.

Kind regards

Allie.
Getting angry now... He's starting to use bold.

Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Hello Allie,
you can adjust this amount from the SEO campaign which you will start with
us now lets talk about the SEO services of your website.

Note:
i will give you the discount for that amount you have charged for this
lets talk about the SEO services please share your website with us
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

Dear David,

We have no website...

Once again, please let me know the email address of your Accounts Department so we may forward our invoice.

Do let us know when the edits are complete so we may, once again, proofread the updates.

Kind regards

Allie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Dear Allie ,
This is the forceful services you are providing us thanks for that can I know that you make account with us at Semalt what is the purpose for that .
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

Dear David,

May I remind you that it was YOU who tried to contact me on the phone initially, when I did not request any call. Then you chose to spam my email address. This is 'forceful'.

If you do not wish to become a target for pointless discussion, you should not attempt to cold call or spam people.

Still awaiting the email address of your Accounts Department.

Kind regards

Allie
Quote:
Originally Posted by David

Dear Allie ,
I contact you because you register yourself with your information with us at Semalt SEO company which is Semalt.com then I contact you otherwise how do I know about you all those people who are looking for the SEO services only they get registered with us and we provide the SEO services after giving complete information about our services and prices not like that way you do I have done this for you now pay this amount to me with due respect we don't do that with our clients that's why maybe you don't have clients but we have clients more the your expectations so don't worry feel free to contact me if you have any clients for SEO services I gave you the resellers program and you will earn money from Semalt SEO.
I hope you like my offer
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie

Hello David

Your offer is excellent. I can't wait to mix custard with elephants to see what the resultant offspring may look like. But it is essential that if the elephants are to be coupled with custard that the health and safety considerations are taken into account to ensure that the elephants wear suitable footwear to avoid slips and falls and to prevent any potential future litigation.

We continue to aspire to obtain the email address of your Accounts Department so we may obtain the funds to provide the safety equipment for those elephants in our charge.

Kind regards

Allie
No response....

Quote:
Dear David

Whilst waiting for your next reply, you may wish to take a look at your email signature as your email address is spelled wrong.

No charge for this.

Still awaiting the email address of your Accounts Department to settle the outstanding amount.

Kind regards

Allie
Quote:
Hello Allie,
in the signature all spellings are accordingly what i use for my contacts so please so not worry about that and one more things please do not waste your and our time if you are looking for the SEO then you can send me next email otherwise thanks for your reply.

Not interested for this kind of assistance please
The email address in the signature had changed...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie
Hi David

Accounts Department email address please.

Kind regards

Allie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by david
Hello Tim,
account department email not available i am so sorry for that
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie
Hi David

So sorry to hear that, it is rather awkward.

To whom should we send our invoice?

Kind regards

Allie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by David
Hi Allie,
for what invoice you are talking about for those services which we not required from you so this is a waste of time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Allie
Exactly David. As you say, 'we never requested your services' and this 'is a waste of time' initiated by your unwarranted spam email.

You have spent over three hours talking to a doll. Thank you for the content, it will make a good forum post. Have a nice day.

Allie, c/o http://allieandmaria.com/about-us/
THE END

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #1142  
Old 30-07-2019, 02:30 PM
Seth's Avatar
Seth Seth is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: N Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 310
Default

Nice one AH and Allie. I hope you get the email for the accounts dept.

It reminds me of a time I had to activate a Barclaycard. Since I don't use phones well I normally rely on my sister to make these calls for me. Something she is good at since she also works in banking. Upon making the call to the non UK call centre she proceeded to try activate my card explaining she was doing this on my behalf since I can't hear on the phone.

Numb nuts at the call centre point blank refused, accused us of trying to commit fraud and breaking the law and then proceeded to explain that we would have to see a solicitor so I could give my sister power of attorney so she could do this for me. Once done he said I would have to send solicitors documents as proof that my sister had POA. Sister explained since I was present this wasn't required, I did even recite my full name, address, DOB and that I was happy for my sister to activate the card on my behalf. Clever dick still refused.

So, I asked my sister to get the guys full name and ask him if he was qualified to give out legal advice. He was also informed he was likely to be in breach of current UK discrimination laws and we would be informing the relevant authorities in respect of this.

The call ended quickly after this, the donkey hung up and never did tell us his full name and I still can't use my barclaycard.
Reply With Quote
  #1143  
Old 30-07-2019, 05:31 PM
shamus's Avatar
shamus shamus is online now
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Staffordshire
Posts: 2,809
Default

Absolutely hysterical how you turned things completely around on the SEO scumbag. (those people are not high on my respect scale coming somewhere between pond slime and PPI cold callers... Pond slime being the higher in that scale.

__________________
Reply With Quote
  #1144  
Old 30-07-2019, 07:23 PM
Samurai's Avatar
Samurai Samurai is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: In A House
Posts: 6,037
Default

That's just nasty

Well done
Reply With Quote
  #1145  
Old 30-07-2019, 08:09 PM
PDutus's Avatar
PDutus PDutus is online now
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2019
Location: Channel Islands
Posts: 291
Default

Absolutely brilliant
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
allie, maria, pelin, sarahlou, wmdoll

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:48 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.