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  #21  
Old 06-03-2022, 03:26 PM
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Hi friends! I'm..er..we're...hic...drunko!

What you read below will be mostly my inner monologue because the speaky voice has been distorted with burpy alco-ma-hol induced whooooopppeee! There still may be hiccups and burps even in my head, it's gotten to that stage already...so...hic....here's where we're at.

The plan is to get to Sexitron before it closes, I heard hunky Hugh is there promoting some...hic...stupidly oversized (that's an opinion) dildo goodness. Luckily I had a BMX on standby for self transportation through Berlin's vibrant street art filled back alleys...hic. So off we went with...buuuurrrrpppp...Wolka clinging tightly around my chest, normally it's a waist hold but she's not interested in that part of my anatomy. The squeeze was real, possibly life threatening but most importantly it's affecting my ability to ride straight. I can't concentrate with a half naked Wolka hanging on my back!

Cruising through the streets trying to keep upright is a struggle and then the worst happens, dammit the stupid chain pops off, and you know it's all oily and shit! So we're somewhere near Mauer Park I think, been here before but it's dark and the bike is momentarily fuckered. I get to work....burp...whilst Wolka keeps an eye out for....hic...gopniks?




Now there's a reason why she's got her baps out, boob protection? A sort of counter...hic...intuitive attempt to protect the bike fixing area? Hmmm, all I can hear whilst my hands continue to get dirtier is constant shouts of..."Move on or go to Gulag, blyat! She must think they are dangerous weapons but maybe they attract more bypassers that they keep away? Knowing her I wouldn't be surprised if they were actually hidden machine gun enhancements or something! Pew Pew! Regardless my only words are sweary and bike related, brace yourself the following is a combination of alco-ma-hol, dirty oil and fiddly chain. "Fwuck you chaaaaainn! BUUUURRRPP! Hmph, fecking, fwukc fuckity, you OILY BASTARD!...hic...bonk. Fwuck it!" All I want is White Russian, "Yes babe, boobs at the ready, see!" No, Wolka, but yes your boobs are lovely, but I'm talking about the alco-ma-hol...hic...anyway aren't you Polisschss?

Dammit will we have to abandon the oily chain? Will we make it to Sexitron in time? Will Wolka put her boobs away at some point? The first two have to happen, the last one...well...hic...I'm not complaining...BUUUURRP!

WOOOOLLLKKAAA! Where's my drink?
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  #22  
Old 06-03-2022, 06:45 PM
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I'm sorry but the look on Wolka's face suggests to me that she is saying, "Look at my baps, damn it, I didn't get them out to cool them down!"


I would usually say to tighten the chain before going out so it doesn't pop off so readily buuuuuut we wouldn't have such a nice view if you did
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  #23  
Old 07-03-2022, 12:29 AM
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great story hope you got to the store in time and got the grease off your hands.
hope wolka didn't get cold.

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  #24  
Old 07-03-2022, 08:58 AM
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So...er..... Fat Bottomed Girls WON'T be riding today????

Am I going to get away with the comment about Fat Bottoms?

Its too early to contemplate these things

K
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  #25  
Old 08-03-2022, 01:10 PM
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Hugh is waiting and wanted to assure that he is not a corporate sell out! He puts the rubber on the landing strip every time! After all... He loves all things about House of Pink!
Most of his customers think of him as they use their purchases!
Amy and Wolka, you may be able to get a free demo! Remember...What happens in Berlin, stays in Berlin!


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  #26  
Old 08-03-2022, 01:13 PM
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Hey hey Amy this is getting crowded! My menacing RED nips aren't scaring anybody, more on the *BURP* contrary! we gotta fix that chain pronto! We... we... oh by my Hot Lenin, I think I'm gonna throw ooouuu... *BAAAAAAARFFF*. Ok, feel much better now, 100% refreshed. Why am I flashing my boobies?

Hurry up babe, we're moving on to the next objective be it by bike, by foot or by tank! well maybe we can just grab a taxi, all cars so far have seemed to be stopping in front of us, drivers smiling. Not sure if CIA, MI6 or what yet because I am (was) kinda shitfaced, but spies for sure! So yeah, I think I can stop a car if your BMX doesn't make it before we get engulfed by the crowd! Here, have this Jagermeister shot some kind randomer just selflessly handed me, it will keep you in the zone while you do your engineering on your ride.

Sexitron here we cum!


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  #27  
Old 20-07-2022, 07:54 AM
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Hey girls! Glad to see you finally made it to my Sexitron booth at the Adult Toy Expo. Let me get your picture...




Wait! Is that grease on your hand Amy? Please go wash your hands before handling my toys. Whats that?
Did you say chain grease? Hmmm. That sounds interesting! Well I have plenty of lubrication here on display.
It might work on chains but I can give you a demo later.

You both look fabulous and its nice to meet both of you! Amy, is that a rain coat? Good idea as you know there is a high probability of a storm cumming.
Wolka, I love those neck rings! I think they will fit me perfectly. You are both Yummy! Go and enjoy the show and check in later.
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  #28  
Old 20-07-2022, 08:00 AM
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Uuuuh Привет Hugh, hiiii... nice to meet you *heart eyes and drooling* so you like my ringssss? are they the right caliber? *touches them playfully*

Glad we made it through all the line! not that I'm not used to lines but I can see why this booth is gathering so much attention, huhuuu! *winks retardedly at Hugh*

What is this advanced Western device you're holding, Amy? It says here that it goes in the bum! scary! I like scary, we shall use our kapital to purchase it, fear not for I will test it in order to assess its safety!

Oi oi if Amy uses this Double Sputnik-like contraption on me in combination with her soft and delicate hand movements she will NEED that raincoat on! You know, I discovered I can make rain happen if you know what I mean.

oh myyyyy this man is almost as hot as Lenin himself, he got me sold! What do you say, Amy? please buy this one, me likey. Your kapital is OUR kapital, right?


Well...er...yes we should use some sort of kapital as you say to purchase such an intriguingly penetrative device...mmmmm, penetration....

Only problem is my pockets are not only see through but also proper empty! See...




We may have to...ahem...(looks suggestively at Hugh)...come to some sort of other arrangement? Not that I'm offering you up like some of of pimp promoting his girl, well, I sort of am...BUUUTTT...I want in on the action too! We need to take pictures too, Johnny Tempest is requesting them...

Can we also get a few of these colourful dildos as well? I like colours and I like dildos! I like you and I like Hugh! Woo!
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  #29  
Old 20-07-2022, 08:11 AM
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Babe I trust you but be gentle please yeah?
"Don't you worry my little wannabe punky cute thing, me have the skills and I will make sure everything is all of the good, ya?"
Oh my I do love it when you hold my arm tight like that...just the right amount of force, I won't struggle...much...mmmm.

"I think you'll find all my devices are fully usable for anyone no matter the experience, the courage or the requirement for artificial lubrication, which I also have available. I can see you both love the bright and colourful, check my little pocket friend here!"

He's not wrong Wolky, I do like that one! Shall we get them both and Hugh's all important digits while we're at it? (Looks at Hugh knowing full well he heard every word of that)
"You heard my girl Mr Proprietor man! Digits. Er please?
But no kapital from our cute pockets, we call later ya? Promises."
(uses her not so subtle but definitely still retarded wink)


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  #30  
Old 20-07-2022, 08:14 AM
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Nhyaaaah Amy this isn't fitting in?? Oh right, you're still in your sporty capitalistic garments! they are so tight on your skin that I forgot you were wearing anything at all. Looks like bodypaint! I remember being trained out in the woods in camouflage bodypaint. Sexy soviet days, my all-girl squad we all kept a pic of the hottest stud on Earth with us, Lenin. If only Hugh was bald! Guess noone is perfect.

Damn, I don't know if this will fit in. Hey Len... I mean Hugh, you said you had some lube? we have a few things to use it on, like a broken bicycle chain and err, other stuff. How can we ever repay you for your selfless help?


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